When I walked into the gym nearly 2 years ago, I had one goal: to be the weight I was when I got married 7 years ago. And honestly, I know me: I would have never walked into a gym if I hadn’t become Fatty me. I wanted to look like I did those many years ago. And it wasn’t a “lose weight to be healthy” issue, it was “I want to look amazing” issue. Don’t worry- I’m still shallow. I still want to look amazing. BUT as I worked out, I realized my goals have advanced (well, changed):
1. Fit into my old clothes. I realized weight is not what matters MOST to me anymore. Of course it matters- when my pounds on the scale stay the same I kind of freak out and mutter curse words. But even if I’m losing fat, I’m gaining muscle, and sometimes the two cancel themselves out and curse me with the same old poundage. My measurements are changing, and how I carry my weight is changing. And as I make my changes, I can wear my old clothing. And getting back to my smallest pants size is a goal. Because even if I don’t change weight, I am losing inches and building muscles of steel.
2. I wanna be ripped. Anywhere that has muscle, I want it to be hard as a rock. If a man (who isn’t my husband) smacks me on the butt, I want him to break his hand. I want to be able to listen to men brag about how buff they are, walk over, flex my muscles, and emasculate them all. I want to be able to make my chest muscles “dance”. I want to be able to use my massive, muscular legs to kick down doors. I don’t want to ever say “that’s too heavy for me to carry”– and have it be a Chihuahua.
3. I want to advance in every class I take, every challenge I take on. I want to add more weight when I take Body Pump, I want to perfect my form in Body Combat, I want to be able to do all 8 billion push ups on my toes in class. I want to be able to increase resistance, run longer, faster, harder. I want to know that if I’m being chased by a lion (tiger, bear, ninja, zombie) I can out run all my friends.
4. I want to be healthy. I want to know my changes have improved my life. That I get healthier with each advance I make. And if I can gain the body (and face) of a 23 year old me for the rest of my life? SO WORTH IT!
Sometimes diet, exercise, and life changes don’t reflect on the scale. As infuriating as that can be, other changes are taking place. Sometimes creating a new, awesome you takes more than pounds. It can take drive, stubbornness, and an amazing blog to inspire yourself, and others.