First page of the Fatty Fashion archive.

Fatty Females

Posted by Fatty Founder on February 12, 2019 with No Comments

Sorry guys- this is a blog for the ladies. But feel free to read on. And I guess the info might help you. . . some men may need to wrangle their man-boobs as well. I guess some similar concepts could apply. . .

 

So, you’ve decided to start your fitness journey. But you think “I don’t want to go to the gym, and money to buy some fitness machine is not really in the budget. . . so what’s a chunky girl to do? Hey, the outside is free! Let’s run outside!”. And so you convince yourself that this is a great idea. You decide to use your sweatpants for the purpose they were intended for (you know, not just to watch TV), and you might even put on one of those funny shirts that say something like “I don’t run unless something is chasing me”. You step out the door, optimistic, and start your run. And then- BAM, your boobs jump up and punch you in the chin. You have officially lost a boxing match with your breasts. So, you can either give up OR decide to spend a little money on your “free” hobby and get yourself a sports bra.

 

Now, sports bras run the gamut. You can spend $100 on a bra, or $5 on Ebay where you hope you get what the picture showed and not some cloth and a rubber band to assemble the bra all by yourself. And maybe someday they’ll invent a $10,000 sports bra that the second you put it on you lose weight (and I would pay it! Any men that may still be reading this- that one would apply to you as well). But, this blog today will focus on bras that actually exist. And in looking at the magic bras that allow me to run, jump, skip, etc I have several things that I require:
1. Must have a clasp or zipper to get it on and off. I will not wear a bra that you pull on over your head. I hate a bra that you have to struggle with just to get on, and then it compresses your boobs until you can’t breathe. And then taking it off you run the possibility of getting trapped with your arms above your head and a bra covering your face. SO- I require being able to use snaps or a zipper up front to get it on or off. Added points if the bra has a clasp and a zipper- double wrangling gets the job done better! And there’s less risk of the girls escaping and making a run for it!
2. Actual cups. I dislike sports bras that just compress everything down. I don’t feel that they do their job as well, and they don’t offer any support. They just flatten everything down and hope that’s enough. But having cups usually does 2 things- it lets you find your size (normally wear a 34DD? Well, they have a sports bra that’s your size), and gives you more comfort. Going by S, M, L, XL makes me uncomfortable- both mentally and physically. If you order online- you don’t know for sure that it will fit. It might say “go with medium if you are 36B or C-but who knows if they assumed right. I prefer a bra that gives me a size I know and love.
3. Cost. I don’t like to spend $80 on a bra. Even a sexy one that I wear daily. And many of the cheaper brands have great bras that do everything I want. And sometimes they have better options. Many of the big fitness brads love their smash everything flat bras. But my favorite bras are sold at Target (the magic store that has everything) and cost around $20. Here is my favorite brand:

 

Champion.
Women’s Power Shape™ MAX High Support Front-Close Sports Bra – C9 Champion
I love the zipper in the front, and there’s an extra clip in front for extra staying power. Keeps everything in place- and has never come unzipped during a workout (I’ve had that happen with other brands! Not cool, especially not in public!!). Super comfortable with a great look. $25.00 at Target.

Women’s Power Shape™ MAX Support Convertible Sports Bra -C9 Champion

 

Women’s Power Shape™ MAX Support Convertible Sports Bra -C9 Champion- Clip on the inside

 

Women’s Power Shape™ MAX Support Convertible Sports Bra -C9 Champion
The straps are thick in the shoulders keeping them comfortable. I Keep the straps crossed in the back because it seems to offer more support. The cups offer full coverage, with breathable mesh on the straps and between the cups to keep the goods less sweaty. $23 at Target

Women’s Power Shape™ MAX Support Convertible Sports Bra -C9 Champion

 

I think the bras above offer the best coverage, best function, and are comfortable. They’ll save you chest, back, and chin when you get to running, jumping, lifting, or yoga-ing. And they won’t break the bank. I’d say that’s a win-win.

Fatty’s Samsung Watch

Posted by Fatty Founder on May 11, 2017 with No Comments

I recently decided to upgrade my Fitbit to something a bit more fashionable- and purchased the Samsung Gear S2 Classic in rose gold. I have to say, I am pretty darn pleased with the function and look. It is more a “watch” than a “fitness tracker”, but if you want something that looks like you drink smoothies for lunch WITH YOUR PINKIES UP- then this is the watch for you. It does everything the Fitbit does, but, in my humble opinion (and that’s the only one that matters here, this is MY blog) looks and functions better. But life isn’t all about looks (which you would never know by reading my rants- this is a fitness blog called Fatty’s Fitness Forum and I talk about how fat I am, and how a new body would be marvelous), substance is needed to sustain you. Lucky for me this watch is more than just a “trophy wife”- it has multiple redeeming qualities beyond just looks.

 

Besides doing everything my Charge HR did, the Gear S2 has a lot of features that my former Fitbit lacked. The watch is round, and has a rotating bezel that changes the watch face. The first face is just the standard watch face, allowing you to see time, date, month, etc (you choose the style, so it can include different things). I then set up the faces in the order I prefer. Face 2 is my step counter, 3 is the heart rate monitor, and 4th is an exercise tracker where you can set they type of workout you are performing. I don’t often use this, but it is available as needed. The watch itself picks up on workouts and starts a timer. Based on heart rate it determines if you are walking, running, etc and sets the workout type under the timer. This is nice because when the workout ends, it gives you a total time you were performing a task. The apps are also a great addition that my Fitbit did not have.

                                          

Standard Face                                                                Heart Rate Monitor

(picture from Samsung’s site)

                                

Inactive Watch Face                                                         App watch face

 

I added a calculator to my Gear S2, because it comes in handy at work. But this isn’t a “I can do calculus in my head while playing D&D” calculator watch, more a “I need to take my glass of champagne with me while calculating out my Rolls Royce payment” type of watch. Adding apps and changing the faces on this watch is super simple, which is great when you’re me and not a tech mastermind. I also find the step counter to be more accurate than my Fitbit was, which is a bonus when you want to track your activity for the day.

 

The app for my phone is where I have the most qualms. When you install the app for the phone, a secondary app needs to be added to track fitness related items. The Samsung Health (S Health) app is average, and this is where Fitbit has Samsung beat. The app is not terrible, but I don’t rank it as highly. I don’t like how the calorie totals are calculated- Fitbit includes your RMR (resting metabolic rate) in along with the calories you burned through activity, so it shows a total you burned that day. S Health only includes what was burned that day through activity, so it does not give me an idea of the whole picture.

 

The food tracker on the app could use a larger library- it does not have all the brands for every food, and the calorie totals are hard to determine. It lists foods as serving size and grams, so it’s difficult to know what that is in cups, tablespoons, etc. Remember how I suck at math and installed a calculator? Determining grams in a cup is a thing I can’t do without Google. And by then I have eaten my entire meal and don’t want to enter it into the counter anyway (screw you diet! I curse you and your demand that I count calories!). I have linked S Health with MyFitnessPal, but am still stumbling through having them talk to each other.

 

Step totals on app

 

 

The only other concern I have with my Gear S2 is the band. I bought the Gear S2 Classic in rose gold, which comes with a white leather band. A WHITE band. You put anything white on me and it 1. Blends in with my pasty white-like-milk skin and 2. Gathers all kinds of gunk, grime, and perspiration. When using this watch for working out, the leather band turns yellow in no time. No matter how much I wipe it down or clean it, it yellows.

 

The one great thing about this band is it was simple to take off. There are spring snaps on the band that are easy to pop in and out. And then stay locked when you are wearing the watch, so the band does not come loose. I replaced my band with a rubber watch band, and this worked great. I highly recommend getting a more durable watch band for everyday use, and use the leather bands for “upscale events”- like taking a glass of champagne with you to calculate out Rolls Royce payments.

 

I’ll stick to my doughnut ranking, and give this watch a 4.5 out of 5. The only Cons I have deal with the app and the band, not about the actual functioning of the product.

 

Pros

Looks great- like an expensive watch

Tons of apps

Monitors heart rate

Step counter is very accurate

Easy to use

 

Cons

White band turns to yellow in no time

S Health app needs a bigger library, and a “total calories burned”

A fairly expensive watch (they start at $250 and go up from there)

 

Overall, I highly recommend the Samsung Gear S2 Classic. Beautiful AND smart? This watch is like me, just less annoying, thinner, and more functional.

Fatty’s Fitbit

Posted by Fatty Founder on July 4, 2014 with No Comments

OK- I’m back! I have a new post for all of you! Are you excited? You should be! Some ass hat hacked my blog (who does that? It’s a blog written by a fat chick about DIET and EXERCISE- what could you possibly gain by hacking it? Experience on how NOT to hack things? A […]

Fatty Has A Heart

Posted by Fatty Founder on June 17, 2013 with No Comments

I have a heart. I know it doesn’t seem like it because I’m a mean spirited spawn of evil who sees no good in anyone and just blurts out horrible things while making up elaborate plots for revenge. I’m just kidding- none of that is true. I’m awesome and I have an awesome heart. Know […]